Behind blue eyes
by Debbie-MaryJane
Summary: The thoughts of Albus Dumbledore, the Greatest Wizard Ever.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and stuff... I only own the thoughts of Albus Dumbledore gets evil 'Hellooooo I'm your mind giving you someone to talk toooooooooooooooooooo' No, really, I own nothing of this.

A/N: I was listening to 'Behnd Blue Eyes' from ... ehm ... Linkin Park? Or whoever... Anyway, I was listening to it when I wrote this.

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Behind blue eyes

It's better to forget, they told me. But when the darkness returns I remember what was forgotten.

I remember the cold faces of the lost ones. The ones I killed with my powers. I remember the dark cold mud, the black clouds, the red smell of blood and their faces. Blank eyes staring to the sky.

I remember faces of men and women, boys and girls. I remember their eyes, eyes of broken glass, their faces as white as snow. The rain fell down and cleaned their bodies.

It's better to forget.

I look out the windows and I see the dark clouds of winter. Somehow I keep on thinking about the ones I try to forget. The darkness brings them back, back to me, their murderer.

'Albus?' they ask, confused. But I cannot answer, every time I try to answer I see their faces. Their faces, covered with blood, rain and mud. Their faces, one with fear and lost hope.

'Albus? Are you okay?' they ask, but they don't see their faces, all alone in the mud. I always see them. Screaming in fear and their eyes, glimmering as stars, their faces covered by darkness, as dark as the clouds.

The dark clouds of winter.

They called me the best Headmaster they ever had. They still call me that way. But now they also call me the most powerful wizard in the world.

I remember some of them who called me the best Headmaster too. I killed them.

I still remember how I counted them, afraid to have left one of them alive. I saw their lips, white as ice, I remembered how they talked about me. They told their friends that I was the best Headmaster ever and a very good wizard, noble and kind.

Their lips aren't speaking anymore. They laid in the dark mud, covered with blood, oh, and rain. Don't forget the rain.

They called me the best Headmaster ever.

Frozen smiles and fading laughs. When I walk around in this castle that once was filled with their laughter, I remember them.

Other students are running around, but not in the hallways where they once ran and laughed. At the walls of those hallways several paintings stare at me. Paintings, made by me. Paintings of them who died by me.

Their faces are covered with blood, rain, and they're laying in the dark mud, like I remember them. No-one likes those hallways with those dead people, staring at you, seeing every move you make. When I walk in those empty hallways everything I remember are frozen smiles and fading laughs.

Somehow I keep on remembering when the sun shines. I always thought the light drove the bad memories away. Wrong.

The students are laughing at the lake, they don't feel the darkness that once lingered here in the eyes of many children. They don't see what made the Forbidden Forest so dark and cold, they don't see the ghosts of the past. No-one seems to see their faces, their eyes and the blood, the rain, the mud.

They screamed, you know. They screamed and fell on their knees, hurt by the flaming light that burned their black souls.

Even if the sun shines, I remember.

They spoke to me for hours, with candlelight in their eyes. They spoke of their master, but also of their faith in me. They believed I would help them. In return they promised they would try to don't kill any innocents. Their family were the ones who tried to get them evil as was possible. But they believed in me and said they would fight for their freedom, if I would help them.

I killed them and gave them their freedom, but not the freedom they longed for. My heart still hurts.

They speak to me in my dreams.

'No more evil' he said. A boy, almost a man, with green eyes. He's still walking around in this castle, smiling because Voldemort is finally defeated.

I remember the ones I defeated. On the battlefield. The boy with the green eyes stood next to me, after he had defeated Voldemort. The good wizards and witches were fighting with the bad ones. With children, with adults. They didn't knew Voldemort was dead. They fought in the dark mud, surrounded by many lights. I raised my hand and all the good wizards and witches disappeared. The others looked confused. They stared at me.

I killed them all while the boy next to me whispered: 'No more evil.'

Now the grass is green. I walk over the grasses and I remember how once on this place everything was dark, covered by mud, blood and rain. I remember how once it rained so hard that I couldn't see who was evil and who was not.

I notice flowers, red flowers. White flowers. Everywhere I look there are flowers. Flowers on the long lost battlefield. They seem to whisper, telling stories about what once happened on this colourful field.

No more mud, no more blood, no more rain, no... Now the grass is green.

I am a murderer.


End file.
